Building a Solid Relationship with God

A relationship with God is not accidental — it is intentional, costly, and built on thanksgiving.

Every relationship in this world and in the world to come is intentional. Building with God requires far more than singing worship songs or attending church — it requires a decision, a sacrifice, and a willingness to know God's heart, His will, and His expectations. God Himself was intentional first, and He is calling us to reciprocate with our whole souls.

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Teaching Overview

1. Because His love is unconditional, He has already come close to us as much as He can. We have to come close to Him.

From the core argument of this sermon, the following teaching points undergird that central declaration:

2. Every relationship with God is intentional — if you are not intentional about building with the Lord, you remain in the same place.
3. The foundation of building a relationship with God begins with thanksgiving, not worship.
4. Love is not an emotion but a verb and a decision made with the soul.
5. God has expectations out of your relationship with Him, and you must know them to build effectively with Him.

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Key Distinctions

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The Intentionality of Relationship with God

• Building a relationship with God is not passive — walking with God, loving God, and worshiping God are all intentional acts.
• God Himself was intentional first: when He gave His Son Jesus, He did not care that some would reject it — His agenda was to build the bridge between mankind and God.
• If you are not intentional about building with the Lord, you remain in the same place, do not advance, and stay stranded — even while praying and hoping.

"Every relationship is intentional. There is no relationship in this world or in the world to come that is not intentional."

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Religion vs. Spirituality

• Many believers have been given religion, not spirituality — this is the fundamental problem with wrong doctrine.
• The Word of God is not just promises; it is reality — and these blessings can be fully accessed only when we know how to work with God and understand our relationship with Him.
• The words we speak about what God has freely given us are not taught by man's wisdom but by the Holy Ghost, teaching us to compare spiritual things with the spiritual.

"If you don't know things that are freely given to you by God, it means that you still don't know, you're not spiritual yet."

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God Has Already Finished the Work

• God rested on the seventh day from all His work — everything that was going to be in heaven and on earth was already established in Genesis.
• The miracle being prayed for right now, the healing desired right now — all were established before the foundations of the earth, because Christ was crucified before the foundations of the earth.
• Isaiah declared "by His stripes we are healed" in present tense, 500 years before Jesus — and Peter confirmed it in the New Testament in past tense: we were healed — the work is done.

"Everything that was going to be on earth, the miracle that we are praying for right now, the healing that we desire right now, was already established in Genesis."

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Worship Does Not Build Relationship

• God never commanded Adam to worship Him — what God wants is the love and appreciation that come from genuine conviction of who He is, so that worship flows from the right place.
• The church has become a sentimental place — dimming lights, lifting hands, singing emotional songs, and crying — but none of that constitutes a relationship with God.
• Worship leaders who live double lives are evidence that worship alone does not build relationship: you can sing a good song without your heart giving it to Him.

"You cannot build a relationship with the Lord because of worship. Worship is part of the relationship, but it's not the center of it."

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Thanksgiving as the Foundation

• The foundation of building a relationship with God begins with thanksgiving — you can never build with somebody who never says thank you.
• What opens the gates of heaven is not worship but thanksgiving — God already has hallelujah in heaven; the angels worship 24/7.
• You have something that angels do not have: you have experienced God Himself coming for you — and that gratitude is what heaven must receive beyond worship.

"Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise. Be thankful unto him and bless his name." — Psalm 100:4 (KJV)

"What opens the gates of heaven is thanksgiving, not worship. You have something that you can offer that heaven has to receive beyond worship."

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God Has Already Come Close — You Must Draw Near

• God's love is unconditional — there is nothing you or anyone can do to make God love us more; He already loves us at the maximum capacity He can love.
• He gave the best part of Himself — His only begotten Son — not because He loved us more than Jesus, but because He loves us at the same measure He loves Jesus.
• Because He has already come as close as He can, the responsibility of drawing near belongs to us — the more you move close to Him, the closer He is to you.

"Draw close unto me and I will draw closer unto you because God is already close. The closer you draw unto me, the closer I am to you."

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We Are Gathering Because God Is Already There

• When we go to church and say "Lord, we welcome You into this house," we reveal that we are not conscious — it is the house of the Lord, and it is God welcoming us in.
• When two or three are gathered in His name, He is in their midst — not as an effect of their gathering, but as the cause of it.
• We can never even come together without God being the central cause of it.

"If two or three are gathered in my name, I am in their midst — meaning we are gathering because God is there."

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Love Is a Verb and a Decision

• Love is not an emotion — falling in love has nothing to do with emotion; love is proven by what it is willing to give, not by how it feels.
• If God were emotional about His love toward us, He would never have given Jesus — He gave Jesus not because He loved us more than Jesus, but because love required that He give His very best.
• Love is a decision made with the soul — the will, the mind, the heart, and the strength — all of which are within human control.

"Love is a verb. Love is not emotional. If God was emotional about his love towards us, He would have never given Jesus."

"Love is only proven when somebody is not worthy of it. The love of God is genuine because He knows us exactly how we are."

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God Is Needy

• God is very needy — He wants your attention, your love, your affection, and He wants to be number one above all else.
• God declares Himself a jealous God — He does not want His people giving more attention to anyone or anything else than to Him.
• Our relationship with God is work — there must be a will to build it, or you are deceiving yourself.

"God is needy. He wants your attention. He wants your love. He wants your affection. He wants to be number one. God wants all of us. He doesn't want to share us with anybody."

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God's Expectations in the Relationship

• Before building with anyone, you must know what they expect — God has an expectation out of your relationship with Him, and that expectation determines how you deal with Him.
• God expects to be loved with all your heart, all your strength, all your mind, and all your might — because He gave His life, and the same measure in which you give is the same measure you receive.
• Knowing God's heart requires studying how He walked with men in scripture — just as a good parent knows their child's needs, you must come to know His character, His will, and His desires.

"The same measure in which you give is the same measure you receive. God is expecting something because He gave something."

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Cultivating the Right Heart

• You can be with God and still have the wrong spirit and heart — proximity to God without the right heart does not produce relationship.
• King David's posture — "Search my heart, reveal my heart even to myself, give me a new heart" — is the model for how to cultivate the heart that a genuine relationship with God requires.
• Thanksgiving is the starting point, but building with God also requires knowing His will and desires, and being willing to let the relationship cost you something.

"It's easy to say I love somebody until they need you every day."

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Key Definitions

Intentionality — The deliberate, willful decision to pursue and build a relationship; every relationship with God — walking with Him, loving Him, worshiping Him — requires intentional action, not passive expectation.

Spirituality — Knowing the things that are freely given to us by God through the Holy Spirit; a living reality accessed through relationship, not inherited religious doctrine.

Unconditional Love — A love without conditions; there is nothing you can do to make God love you more or less — He already loves us at the maximum capacity He can love, evidenced by giving His only begotten Son.

Thanksgiving — The foundational act of recognizing and declaring what God has already done; the key that opens the gates of heaven, which worship alone cannot open.

Love (as a verb) — A decision made with the soul — the will, mind, heart, and strength — not an emotion; proven only when the other person is not worthy of it.

Affection — An emotional response to what someone has done or how they appear; what people often mistake for love at first sight — it is not the same as the committed, covenantal love God calls us to.

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Key Takeaways

• Every relationship with God is intentional — passivity keeps you stranded; you will pray and never hear from God unless you make a deliberate decision to build with Him.
• God has already done the work — your role is to access it — the healing, the miracle, the blessing was established before the foundations of the earth; waiting for God to act reflects a misunderstanding of what He has already finished.
• Thanksgiving, not worship, opens heaven's gates — you possess something the angels do not: the experience of God coming for you, and that gratitude is what heaven must receive.
• Love is a decision of the soul, not a feeling — genuine love for God requires the full engagement of your will, mind, heart, and strength — not sentiment or emotion.
• God has already drawn as close as He can — the movement is now yours — drawing near to Him is not about asking Him to come; the more you move toward Him, the more present He is to you.

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Reflection Questions

1. How intentional are you about your relationship with God — are you actively building, or are you waiting passively and wondering why nothing is changing?
2. In what ways has your relationship with God been more sentimental than substantive — and what would it look like to move from emotional experience to genuine relational commitment?
3. Do you approach God with a posture of thanksgiving, genuinely acknowledging what He has already done — or do you mostly come to Him with requests for what He has not yet given you?
4. If love is a decision and not an emotion, what specific decision do you need to make this week to demonstrate love toward God with your will, your mind, your heart, and your strength?
5. What does God expect from your relationship with Him — and are you willing to let that relationship cost you something?

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Scripture References

• Romans 5:1 — "Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." (KJV)
• Romans 5:8 — "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (KJV)
• Psalm 100:4 — "Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name." (KJV)
• 1 Corinthians 2:12-13
• Genesis 2:1 — "Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them." (KJV)
• Genesis 6
• Isaiah 53:5
• Matthew 18:20 — "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." (KJV)
• Luke 19:40
• Joshua 24:15
• Amos 3:7

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Golden Nuggets

"Every relationship is intentional. There is no relationship in this world or in the world to come that is not intentional."

"There is nothing me or you can do to make God love us more. He already loves us at the maximum capacity that he can love us."

"Draw close unto me and I will draw closer unto you — because God is already close. The closer you draw unto me, the closer I am to you."

"You cannot build a relationship with the Lord because of worship. Worship is part of the relationship, but it's not the center of it."

"What opens the gates of heaven is thanksgiving, not worship. You have something that you can offer that heaven has to receive beyond worship."

"Love is a verb. Love is not emotional. If God was emotional about his love towards us, He would have never given Jesus."

"Love is only proven when somebody is not worthy of it. The love of God is genuine because He knows us exactly how we are."

"God is needy. He wants your attention. He wants your love. He wants your affection. He wants to be number one. God wants all of us. He doesn't want to share us with anybody."

"The same measure in which you give is the same measure you receive. God is expecting something because He gave something."

"Our relationship with God is work. You have to be willing. If there is no will to build a relationship with God, you are deceiving yourself."

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Resources and Further Reading

• Recommended Books →
• Study with a Recommended Bible →