Building a Solid Relationship With God: How Thanksgiving, Intentionality, and True Knowledge of God Form the Foundation

A relationship with God is not built through worship volume or prayer frequency — it is built through intentional pursuit, genuine gratitude, and the deliberate decision to know Him.

Building a relationship with God does not begin with worship, praise, or how long you pray. It begins with intentionality, gratitude, and the acknowledgment of who God already is. Most believers have been taught the mechanics of spiritual activity without being taught the foundation of actual relationship — and this gap is why so many never truly encounter God.

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Teaching Overview

1. God doesn't want you to be a hypocrite because hypocrites love to pray, especially in public places.
2. Prayer will always begin with thanksgiving.
3. Love is not blind. Love causes something.

Key Distinctions

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Relationship With God Is Always Initiated by God

• There is no person in history who began in relationship with God by first seeking God out — God always initiates.
• There has never been a time when man loved God first; it is always God loving man first.
• God's side of the relationship is always complete at 100% — the responsibility of intentionality belongs to man.

"There is no time a man ever sought out God except God seeking out man. There is no time a man ever loved God first, except God loving man first."

Every Relationship With God Is Intentional

• A person who is not intentional with God will never go anywhere with God.
• Natural relationships — even those of parent and child — ultimately require intentional effort from both parties to develop depth.
• God has called specific people and they are drawn toward the right spiritual mentors and environments because of divine purpose pulling them.

"Every relationship is intentional. A person that is not intentional with God will never go anywhere with God."

Worship Does Not Build Relationship With God

• Worship is intimacy — it is the expression of what God means to you personally, not what He has done or what He has given.
• Scripture does not command worship; the greatest commandment given to Israel was to love God, not to worship Him.
• Many people have been taught to worship God without being taught how to actually know God.

"You have been taught to worship God without being taught how to know God. Worship is foreplay. Worship is foreplay. Literally in Hebrew the word worship is actually was not allowed to be said publicly."

Love Is a Decision, Not an Emotion

• God commanded Israel to love Him with all their heart, strength, mind, and might — because these are things within their control, not passive feelings.
• Love is a verb — an action word — and every genuine act of love requires that something be given of yourself.
• God never commanded anyone to love Him with their spirit, because love is bound to the will and decision of the person.

"Love is not emotion. Love is a decision. I have decided to pursue you. I have decided to know you. I have decided that I will go out of my way to spend time with you."

Worship Without Encounter Is Empty

• Many worshippers have written and performed powerful worship music without ever personally encountering Jesus.
• Emotional appeal during worship does not equal spiritual sensitivity — it is possible to be moved by a song without knowing the One the song is about.
• A genuine encounter with Jesus makes it impossible to question whether He is the only way.

"Worship has nothing to do with building a relationship with God."

Intimacy With God Requires That You Know Him

• The biblical language of "knowing" — as in "Adam knew his wife" — describes the deepest level of intimacy, reserved for those who have built relationship.
• Many believers are attempting to force deep intimacy with God before establishing the foundational knowledge of who He is.
• Confessing Jesus as Lord and Saviour is the beginning of the journey, not the arrival.

"Some people are trying to force God in bed and you don't even know Him."

Prayer Volume and Frequency Do Not Build Relationship

• Jesus explicitly warned against praying as hypocrites do — loudly and publicly to be seen, rather than genuinely connecting with God.
• Vain repetition — prayer without direction or purpose — marks a person as a heathen in God's sight, meaning they are adapted to the culture of men rather than the culture of God.
• God does not hear you because you talk too much; mature faith is demonstrated by brevity, directness, and purpose in prayer.

"It is better for you to pray for five minutes intentionally and understanding the formula of prayer. Then praying for one hour with much speaking vain repetition because God will not respond to you."

Intentional Prayer Is On Topic and Purpose-Driven

• Jesus in Gethsemane demonstrates correct prayer — He was specific, present to His actual situation, and petitioning God about the cross directly before Him.
• Repeating a specific request with persistence is different from vain repetition — vain repetition has no direction or purpose at all.
• Calling upon God's name without purpose is calling upon Him in vain — and God can be annoyed, because He has emotions.

"Vain repetition means it is not, it has no purpose."

Prayer Must Begin With Thanksgiving

• Thanksgiving and praise are two distinct things — entering His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise are sequential and different acts.
• Thanksgiving is the recognition of who God already is and what He has already done; praise declares that He is great and has no equal.
• Skipping thanksgiving at the beginning of prayer means bypassing the very foundation upon which relationship with God is built.

"Prayer will always begin with thanksgiving. Not praise. Thanksgiving and praise are two different things."

Gratitude Is the Gateway to Relationship With God

• God hates ingratitude — no ungrateful person will ever have a true relationship with God.
• A person can praise God with their mouth while remaining ungrateful in their heart; therefore praise without gratitude is disqualified as far as God is concerned.
• Those who come to God only wanting something from Him without genuine acknowledgment of who He is are regarded by God as gold diggers.

"Somebody who has gratitude will genuinely have praise. People who have no gratitude are not even qualified to praise God, because as far as God is concerned, they are gold diggers."

Acknowledgment of God Opens the Door to Hearing Him

• Many believers cannot hear God because they have never properly acknowledged Him — they pass Him by the way one might enter a room and greet everyone except the person of honour.
• Thanksgiving is a testament to your ability to discern God in every situation and every place — it means you are seeing Him in everything.
• Acknowledgment is a spiritual culture and law — God Himself acknowledges those who are His own, as He did with Job, Noah, and Moses.

"Don't you understand your ability to say thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It means that you are seeing Him in everything."

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Key Definitions

Worship — Intimacy with God; the declaration of what God means to you personally by reason of relationship — not what He has given or done, but who He is to you.

Thanksgiving — The recognition and acknowledgment of who God already is and what He has already done; the gateway to relationship with God and the required starting point of all prayer.

Praise — The declaration of what God has done and what He has; distinct from thanksgiving and from worship, and only genuine when it flows from a heart of true gratitude.

Vain Repetition — Prayer without direction or purpose, adapted to the culture of men rather than the leading of God; Jesus identified this pattern as the prayer practice of heathens.

Intentional Prayer — Prayer that is purposeful, directed, and on topic with what God is speaking about in the present moment; demonstrated by Jesus in Gethsemane.

Love (as a Decision) — A deliberate act of the will — "I have decided to pursue you" — not a feeling or emotion; something that costs you and requires active investment of heart, strength, mind, and might.

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Key Takeaways

• Building a relationship with God is intentional, not accidental — depth with God never happens passively; it requires deliberate pursuit and decision to invest in knowing Him.
• Prayer must begin with thanksgiving, not praise or worship — thanksgiving is the acknowledgment of who God is that positions you to hear Him and receive from Him.
• Love is a decision that costs something — genuine love for God is not a feeling; it is a commitment requiring sacrifice, and any relationship — including the one with God — falls apart without it.

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Reflection Questions

1. Are you building a relationship with God intentionally — setting aside deliberate time to pursue knowing Him — or are you assuming closeness with Him based on how long you have been a Christian?
2. When you come to God in prayer, does your prayer begin with genuine thanksgiving, or do you move immediately into requests, worship, or praise without first acknowledging who He is and what He has already done?
3. Reflecting honestly on your prayer life — is it marked by intentional, purposeful communication with God, or does it consist of vain repetition, much speaking, and words without direction?
4. In what areas of your relationship with God have you been trying to access intimacy without first building the knowledge and foundation that intimacy requires?
5. What would it cost you to love God the way Deuteronomy 6:5 demands — with all your heart, all your strength, all your mind? What specific decision do you need to make this week to pursue that?

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Scripture References

• John 15:16 — "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you." (KJV)
• Deuteronomy 6:5 — "And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might." (KJV)
• Matthew 6:5 — "And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward." (KJV)
• Matthew 6:7 — "But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking." (KJV)
• Luke 22:42 — "Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done." (KJV)
• Matthew 5:37 — "But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil." (KJV)
• Exodus 20:7 — "Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain." (KJV)
• Ephesians 4:30 — "And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption." (KJV)
• Ephesians 5:20 — "Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." (KJV)
• Psalm 100:1–5 — "Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands. Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing. Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations." (KJV)
• Hebrews 11:6 — "But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." (KJV)
• Matthew 10:12–14 — "And when ye come into an house, salute it. And if the house be worthy, let your peace come upon it: but if it be not worthy, let your peace return to you. And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet." (KJV)
• Job 1:8
• Genesis 6:8–9
• Exodus 33:11

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Golden Nuggets

"Every relationship is intentional. A person that is not intentional with God will never go anywhere with God."

"You have been taught to worship God without being taught how to know God."

"Worship has nothing to do with building a relationship with God."

"Love is not emotion. Love is a decision."

"Love costs something."

"It is better for you to pray for five minutes intentionally and understanding the formula of prayer. Then praying for one hour with much speaking vain repetition because God will not respond to you."

"Prayer will always begin with thanksgiving. Not praise. Thanksgiving and praise are two different things."

"Somebody who has gratitude will genuinely have praise. People who have no gratitude are not even qualified to praise God, because as far as God is concerned, they are gold diggers."

"A billion thank yous will never be enough for the sacrifice of the Lord Jesus."

"Don't you understand your ability to say thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It means that you are seeing Him in everything."

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Resources and Further Reading

• Recommended Books →
• Study with a Recommended Bible →