Relationship or Situationship: Are You Following God for Who He Is or What He Gives?

True relationship with God is not built on what He provides — it is built on who He is.

Most believers assume they are in relationship with God simply because they pray, attend church, and seek His blessings. But there is a profound difference between a situationship — a self-centered, need-driven connection with God — and genuine relationship, which is rooted in believing in Him as the One the Father sent. This teaching draws the line between the two and calls every believer to move from spiritual immaturity into true knowledge of God.

Relationship or Situationship: Are You Following God for Who He Is or What He Gives?

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Teaching Overview

Number one, they love offense.
Number two, they are self-righteous.
Number three, they don't like to sacrifice.
Number 4 is the love they are comfort zone.
Number five, they have major unbelief.
Number six, they love to doubt.
Number 7, they are never satisfied.
They're into works, meaning they love to justify themselves.
Number nine, they're into temporary solutions.
Number 10. They are short-sighted.
They look for signs, meaning they have no faith.
They hear but they don't listen.
They only make time to be before God because of their needs, not because of spending time with Him.
They ask for things more than His will.

Key Distinctions

	Hearing	Listening	Scripture	Word	Revelation	Relationship	Situationship	Belief	Works	Faith	Signs
What it is	Perceiving a sound	Perceiving, decoding, and understanding the intention of a sound	The recorded testimony of what God did	What God is speaking now — the living voice of God	God-given insight beyond Scripture and spoken word	Connection centered on who God is and what He desires	Connection centered on personal needs and self-interest	Trusting in God as the One the Father sent	Self-justifying acts done to earn God's response	Confidence in what God said regardless of visible evidence	Dependence on visible confirmation before believing
Its function	Registers sound without comprehension	Seeks to understand the meaning and intention behind what is communicated	Provides the foundation — confidence in what God will do, based on what He has done	Builds, directs, and advances the believer from glory to glory	Opens the believer to what God is doing beyond the recorded past	Positions the believer to receive all God has, including His will	Positions the believer to eventually be avoided by God	The actual work God requires of every believer	A substitute for genuine relationship with God	Moves God and aligns the believer with His purposes	A spiritual crutch that replaces genuine trust
Its limitation	Cannot decode meaning or intent	Requires spiritual maturity and a hearing heart	Cannot produce eternal life — it testifies about God, not as God	Only received by those who listen, not merely hear	Cannot be accessed by those bound to the past	Has no ceiling — grows from glory to glory	Has a ceiling — limited to what the self needs and can conceive	Unlimited — opens the believer to all God is and does	Self-limiting — God is reduced to what you have done to deserve Him	No ceiling — operates where evidence is absent	Ceiling-bound — stops where visible proof stops
How it develops	Natural — requires no intentional pursuit	Cultivated through a hearing heart and spiritual humility	Studied and received	Heard through spiritual attentiveness and surrender	Given by the Holy Spirit to the spiritually mature	Built through surrender to God's will, not personal agenda	Reinforced by self-centeredness — need, comfort, and self-justification	Grows through encounter with the person of Jesus Christ	Reinforced by religious performance and self-focus	Developed through relationship with God Himself	Reinforced by spiritual immaturity and a need-based mindset
What it produces	Partial engagement	Full comprehension and obedience	A foundation — confidence and testimony	New territory — things not yet recorded	Supernatural capacity beyond what has been done before	A believer who knows how God works	A believer who eventually drives God to take a back seat	Access to everlasting life — the true work of God	Self-righteousness and limitation	Victory, obedience, and alignment with God's purposes	Spiritual stagnation — following God with the stomach, not the heart

The Distinction Between Hearing and Listening

To hear is to perceive a sound; to listen is to perceive, decode, and understand the intention of the sound.
God does not merely desire that believers hear — He desires that they listen.
A hearing aid amplifies sound but does not guarantee comprehension; the same is true of spiritual hearing without the posture of listening.

"Listening is perceiving and decoding the sound. Understanding the intention of the sound, what kind of sound is it and what is the sound saying? Whenever God is speaking, God is pushing you to be in a position to listen, not to hear, but to listen."

Scripture as Foundation, Not Ceiling

Scripture is the foundation of spiritual life, not the ceiling — believers are meant to live in the Word, not merely on the foundation.
Just as a house is built upon a foundation but life is lived inside the house, so Scripture supports but does not contain the fullness of what God is doing.
Those who make Scripture their ceiling will never experience glory to glory, because they remain oriented toward the past.

"The scriptures are the foundation. They are not the ceiling. We live in the way."

The Purpose of Scripture

The Lord Jesus declared that those who search the Scriptures looking for eternal life in them are mistaken — the Scriptures testify about Him, they do not contain eternal life.
Scripture is the testimony of what God did, which builds confidence in what God will do now — but it is not a substitute for what God is saying and doing presently.
God moves from glory to glory; a believer anchored only to the past record of God will miss the new things God is releasing.

"What God will say will always align with the scriptures. But it doesn't mean that he's doing the scripture is doing more because God does from glory to glory to glory."

God Speaks Beyond Scripture

Moses received the word of the Lord before any Scripture existed — what became the Bible was first the living word of God spoken to individuals.
The consistent biblical phrase "the word of the Lord came unto me" confirms that God's people listened to God directly, not to an already-written text.
Job never had the Scriptures, yet he had the word of God — this demands humility from believers who limit God to the written record.

"God has more than what meets their eye. What meets their eye is small. God has greater things."

Room for the New

The Lord Jesus told His disciples they would do more than Him, yet He never specified what that "more" would look like — leaving room for God to give something new.
Joshua did not part the Red Sea as Moses did; he stopped the sun from setting — God called him into a new expression of divine power.
Binding God to what has already been done is the very thing that separates great men of God from small ones.

"There is room for God to give you something new. That is what separates great men of God and little men of God, spiritual people and spiritual people."

Relationship Versus Situationship

A situationship with God is entirely centered on personal need — prayer, fasting, and seeking God are all driven by self-interest rather than by who God is.
In John 6, Jesus confronted the crowd directly: they were not seeking Him because of the miracles, but because they ate bread and were filled.
The posture of "me, me, me" — what I am pursuing, what I desire, what I am looking for — is the defining mark of a situationship.

"A situation ship is always centered on what your need is. It's not centered on who God is, what God desires, it's all about you."

The Real Work of God

When the crowd asked Jesus what work God required, His answer was singular: believe on Him whom the Father has sent.
The crowd was following Jesus because they believed in His ability to provide bread — but they never believed in Him as the One the Father sent.
Limiting what God can do in specific areas of life — believing He can heal others but not you, protect you but not provide for you — is a form of unbelief that keeps believers in a situationship.

"You have made God into what you want him to be, not what you need. You have limited and taken God and put Him in a purse or in your pocket or in your wallet. He is limited to what you think."

When Followers Become Skeptics

Disciples remain followers until a teaching surpasses their understanding — at that point, many turn into self-appointed Bible scholars, searching for verses to invalidate what they cannot yet comprehend.
Religious people who cannot do what they see a true servant of God do will often demonize that servant rather than humble themselves to learn.
This pattern is consistent from the ministry of Jesus to the present — those who operate beyond what others know will be accused of demonic activity by the very people who secretly need what they carry.

"Everyone is a follow-up until it hits them something that it's beyond the understanding, then they become Bible scholars."

The Fourteen Characteristics of a Situationship with God

People in a situationship love offense, are self-righteous, and refuse to sacrifice — because the relationship was never about God, only about themselves.
They are bound to their comfort zone, filled with unbelief and doubt, and are never satisfied — no act of God is ever sufficient because their appetite is self-generated, not God-directed.
They look for signs rather than walking by faith, they hear without listening, they only approach God in times of need, and their prayers are motivated entirely by personal agenda rather than God's will.

"They only make time to be before God because of their needs, not because of spending time with Him."

The Bread of Life and the Hard Saying

Jesus declared Himself the Bread of Life — the true bread the Father sent from heaven, distinct from the manna Moses provided, which was temporary.
When He told the crowd they must eat His flesh and drink His blood to have eternal life, those following Him with their stomachs called it a hard saying and turned away.
Something can sound radical or even offensive to the religious mind, yet be entirely of God — it requires the ears of the Spirit to hear, not merely religious familiarity.

"Something can sound cultish, but it's not cult. You need the ears of the spirit to hear, but religious people, they act like they know spiritual things, but they don't."

Key Definitions

Hearing — Perceiving a sound without necessarily decoding its meaning or intention.

Listening — Perceiving and decoding a sound; understanding the intention of what is being communicated and what it requires.

Scripture — The recorded testimony of what God has done, which serves as the foundation of spiritual life — not the ceiling, and not a replacement for the living word of God.

Word of God (Rhema) — The living, present-tense voice of God speaking to an individual — distinct from the written Scripture, though always aligned with it.

Situationship — A self-centered, need-based connection with God in which a person's engagement with God is driven entirely by personal desire, not by who God is or what He wills.

The Work of God — As defined by Jesus in John 6:29: to believe on Him whom the Father has sent — not religious performance, service, or self-justification.

Key Takeaways

Listening is more than hearing — it is the posture God requires. Most believers hear God's word but never decode its intention, and therefore never truly obey or grow.
Scripture is the foundation, not the ceiling. Making the Bible the limit of your spiritual experience will keep you anchored to what God did rather than open to what God is doing.
The real work of God is to believe on Him whom the Father sent. Religious activity, service, and even prayer can all be forms of self-justification if they are not rooted in genuine belief.
A situationship with God is need-driven, not God-centered. When every interaction with God is about your agenda, you are in a situationship — and God, though loving, will eventually take a back seat.
God is meant to exceed your thoughts, not be contained by them. Binding God to what you already understand limits His movement in your life and keeps you from glory to glory.

Reflection Questions

When you pray, fast, or seek God, is the primary motivation His will and presence — or your needs and desired outcomes? What does your answer reveal about the nature of your relationship with Him?
In what areas of your life have you made God into what you want Him to be rather than what He is — believing He can do everything except address that one specific area?
Are there teachings, prophetic words, or moves of God you have dismissed or resisted simply because they exceeded your current understanding? What would it cost you to humble yourself and listen?
What is the difference in practice between hearing a sermon and truly listening to it? How would your spiritual life look different if you committed to listening — decoding, understanding, and obeying — rather than simply hearing?
What specific step can you take this week to move from a situationship with God to genuine relationship — shifting your focus from what He gives to who He is?

Scripture References

John 5:39
John 6:25-27
John 6:27
John 6:28-29 — "Then said they unto him, What shall we do, that we might work the works of God? Jesus answered and said unto them, This is the work of God, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent." (KJV)
John 6:30-31
John 6:32-40
John 6:41-58

Golden Nuggets

"The scriptures are the foundation. They are not the ceiling."

"A situation ship is always centered on what your need is. It's not centered on who God is, what God desires, it's all about you."

"You have made God into what you want him to be, not what you need."

"God is supposed to exceed my thoughts. If I'm binding myself to what I know, it means that I'm limiting Him."

"Everyone is a follow-up until it hits them something that it's beyond the understanding, then they become Bible scholars."

"The scriptures testify about God, but God is not interested in the past. God is interested in the future."

"There is room for God to give you something new. That is what separates great men of God and little men of God, spiritual people and spiritual people."

"They were following him with the stomach, not with their heart."

"Whenever you speak something that is beyond their understanding, you become demonized."

"Have a hearing heart. Be somebody with maturity enough to listen to say, maybe just maybe this guy has that one percent that I don't have."

Resources and Further Reading

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