Relationship or Situationship: Loving God for Who He Is, Not What He Does

True spiritual maturity is measured not by what you receive from God, but by whether you love Him when there is nothing left to receive.

So many believers are in a situationship with God while convincing themselves they are in a relationship. The distinction is not minor — it determines whether Jesus stays or migrates, whether prayers are answered, and whether faith survives the removal of every material blessing. The call of this teaching is to move from seeking the hand of God to loving the person of God.

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Teaching Overview

1. The fundamental difference between a relationship and a situationship with God is that a relationship is centered on who God is, while a situationship is centered on what God provides.
2. Jesus deliberately separated situationship seekers from relationship seekers by walking on water in the night, migrating away from those whose devotion was tied to bread and miracles.
3. True love for God is unconditional — it does not depend on finances, healing, prophecy, marriage, or any material circumstance.
4. People who are in a situationship with God are never satisfied — no miracle, no blessing, and no sign is ever enough.
5. The greatest deliverance the church needs is not from demonic forces but from situationship — from a self-centered, benefit-driven connection with God.

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Key Distinctions

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Relationship vs. Situationship: The Core Distinction

• A situationship with God is a connection whose foundation is what God provides — bread, healing, prophecy, marriage, finances — rather than God Himself.
• A relationship with God is centered on who Jesus is, not what He is or what He can produce.
• So many people deceive themselves into believing they are in a relationship with God when in reality the entire connection is conditional on circumstance and provision.

"Do you have a relationship with Him or do you have a situationship with Him?"

The Night Jesus Left: John Chapter 6

• Jesus walked on water specifically to separate those seeking a situationship from those seeking a relationship — He deliberately migrated away from the crowd that had reduced Him to a bread provider.
• The crowd waited through the night convinced Jesus was still on the mountain, not realizing He had already crossed the sea to be with His disciples.
• The boat they came to find Him in was at the place where they ate bread — not the place where they heard His voice, saw His grace, or were taught how to walk with Him.

"Some of you, you don't know that Jesus already left you in the middle of the night. He performed a miracle and he realized that in your life you are simply looking for a situationship."

Jesus Migrates from Situationship Seekers

• The moment a person becomes centered in a situationship, Jesus changes address and migrates to another location.
• People in a situationship confuse a feeling of God's presence with God actually being with them — because they have no assurance rooted in relationship.
• When God stops providing what a situationship seeker expects, their first assumption is that the relationship has changed — they cannot conceive that God may simply be calling them deeper.

"The moment you become somebody of a situation, He changes address. I'll say that again. The moment somebody becomes somebody centered in a situation, He changes address. He migrates, He looks for another location."

The People Sought Bread, Not God

• The crowd followed Jesus to Capernaum not because they sought God, not because they wanted to be taught, but because they had eaten bread and wanted more.
• Jesus directly confronted their motivation: they did not seek Him because of the miracles, but because they ate of the loaves and were filled.
• Jesus then commanded them to stop laboring for bread that perishes and instead seek the meat that endures to everlasting life.

"They entered into a relationship because of bread."

People in Situationships Are Never Satisfied

• After Jesus had fed thousands, healed the sick, and performed miracles, the crowd still demanded a sign before they would believe.
• This is the defining mark of a situationship: no amount of provision, no miracle, and no blessing is ever enough.
• God will give the most extraordinary gifts, and a person in a situationship will immediately turn and look for more — the satisfaction is always temporary.

"People who are in a situationship, they are never satisfied. That's the deal."

Job's Wife: The Exposed Situationship

• Job's wife gave him children and maintained the household as long as the situationship remained favorable — money, parties, status, abundance.
• There is no record anywhere of Job's wife praying; she was never in a relationship with God — she was sustained by the conditions of prosperity.
• The moment God removed everything, she did not say "let us fast and pray" or "let us seek the face of God" — she said, "Curse God and die."

"She was in a situationship. She was the first one to say, Curse God and Die."

The Test of Abraham: Relationship Proven

• God already knew Abraham could surrender silver and gold — material things meant nothing to Abraham.
• God gave Abraham the one thing Abraham loved the most — a son from his own body — and then asked for it back, to determine whether Abraham was in a relationship or a situationship.
• When Abraham placed Isaac on the altar and was willing to offer him, God declared the relationship proven.

"Now I know that you really love me."

Love God for Who He Is, Not What He Is

• What God is includes Creator of the universe, the One who parts seas, the One who suspends planets on nothing.
• Who God is is simply Jesus — and the question every believer must answer is whether Jesus being Jesus is enough, or whether a situationship is required.
• Many Christians love a spouse, a friend, or God based on appearance, capacity, or performance — and the moment those externals change, the love evaporates.

"Love God for who He is, not what He does."

Worship Songs and Spiritual Deception

• A large portion of songs that Christians believe are worship songs are not actually worship songs — they are situationship anthems dressed in religious language.
• Many believers oscillate between situationship and relationship without recognizing which one they are operating from at any given moment.
• Job never declared spiritual warfare during his trial because his confidence was rooted in relationship — he knew the only one who could take from him was God.

"Many of the songs you think you're singing worship songs are not."

Who You Listen to Determines Where You Go

• Who you walk with and who you listen to determines your spiritual direction and destination.
• A prophetic gift does not make someone a prophet — and a person who only prophesies without teaching is sustaining situationships, not building relationships.
• Be cautious of those whose entire ministry is the hand of God and never the person of God — they keep people jumping from boat to boat, moving backwards.

"Who you walk with? Who you listen to? Determines where you're going?"

Love vs. Lust

• Love seeks to satisfy the other person; lust seeks to satisfy self.
• God so loved the world that He gave — love is always moving outward, toward others, at cost to self.
• A situationship with God is lust in spiritual clothing — it is always asking "what can I receive?" rather than "what can I give?"

"Love seeks to satisfy the other. Lust seeks to satisfy self."

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Key Definitions

Situationship — A connection with God (or another person) that is entirely conditional on the benefits received — bread, healing, prophecy, finances — rather than on love for who God is.

Relationship — A bond with God centered on the person of Jesus Himself, unconditional in devotion and stable regardless of material circumstances or feelings.

Love — As used in this teaching: the disposition that seeks to satisfy the other; love always moves outward and gives at cost to self.

Lust — The disposition that seeks to satisfy self; it is about personal gain, personal gratification, and taking from the other rather than giving to them.

The hand of God — A phrase used to describe God's activity, miracles, provision, and blessing — the focus of those in a situationship, as opposed to the person of God Himself.

Migrating — The pattern by which Jesus withdraws His manifest presence from those who have reduced Him to a situationship, changing location to be found only by those who seek Him for who He is.

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Key Takeaways

• A situationship with God is built on what He provides, not on who He is — when the provision stops, the connection collapses, revealing it was never a true relationship.
• Jesus actively separates Himself from situationship seekers — just as He walked on water in the night to lose the crowd that only wanted bread, He migrates from those whose devotion is conditional.
• True relationship with God survives the removal of every material blessing — Abraham proved this on the altar with Isaac; Job proved this through loss; the question is whether you will prove it in your own life.
• People in situationships are never satisfied, no matter how many miracles they receive — the crowd demanded a sign after Jesus had already multiplied the loaves and healed the sick.
• The greatest deliverance the church needs is from situationship — not from demonic forces, but from the self-centered, benefit-driven pattern of engaging with God that masquerades as devotion.

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Reflection Questions

1. When circumstances strip away the blessings — finances, health, relationships, answered prayers — does your love for God remain, or does it expose that what you had was a situationship?
2. What is the honest answer to this question: Is Jesus your solution because He is Jesus, or because every other option failed and He simply treats you better than your alternatives?
3. Which spiritual leaders are you currently sitting under — and are they teaching you to build a relationship with God, or keeping you dependent on their hand as a substitute for God's?
4. If God asked you, as He asked Abraham, to surrender the one thing you treasure most — the thing He gave you that changed everything — what would that reveal about the nature of your devotion?
5. When you worship, when you give, when you fast — are those acts flowing from love for God Himself, or from what you are believing Him to produce in your circumstances?

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Prayers and Declarations

"Father, I pray for everybody that is alive, all those who are giving, all those who are watching, all those who have shared, I pray that you multiply them, increase them in the mighty name of Jesus. Open their eyes to know where they stand with you. Some people right now are standing on quick sand and Lord, but you know how to save them and to rescue them. Rescue them all Lord, even at this hour, in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen."

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Scripture References

• John 6:22-24
• John 6:26-27 — "Jesus answered them and said, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Ye seek me, not because ye saw the miracles, but because ye did eat of the loaves, and were filled. Labour not for the meat which perisheth, but for that meat which endureth unto everlasting life, which the Son of man shall give unto you: for him hath God the Father sealed." (KJV)

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Golden Nuggets

"Do you have a relationship with Him or do you have a situationship with Him?"

"Some of you, you don't know that Jesus already left you in the middle of the night. He performed a miracle and he realized that in your life you are simply looking for a situationship."

"The moment somebody becomes somebody centered in a situation, He changes address. He migrates, He looks for another location."

"Love God for who He is, not what He does."

"People who are in a situationship, they are never satisfied. That's the deal."

"The worst thing you can do is think you are deceiving God but yet you are deceiving yourself the whole time."

"You need deliverance from ignorance and foolishness. You will never go anywhere with God without a relationship."

"Love seeks to satisfy the other. Lust seeks to satisfy self."

"The greatest deliverance the church needs is from a situationship."

"When you have nothing in your pocket, when everybody has rejected you, can you just walk with a smile on your face and say, Jesus, I love you. It doesn't matter whether I eat or not. It doesn't matter whether I am hungry. I just love you."

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Resources and Further Reading

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• Study with a Recommended Bible →